Last fall I wrote this in a post called "We Are God's Masterpiece"
"A friend once told me that we are like ants crawling across a painting by Rembrandt. We crawl across the dark brown and think all of life is dark brown. Then we hit green and think, ‘Oh, this is better. Now all is green.' But soon comes the dark blue and then a splash of yellow, a streak of red, and then another patch of brown. On we journey, from one color to another, never realizing that God is actually painting a masterpiece in our lives using all the colors of the palette. One day we will learn that every color had its place, had a reason, nothing was wasted or out of place..."
I had no idea that 2 weeks later I would I find myself nearly unconscious from shortness of breath and on my way to an Emergency room in Taipei. 3 weeks later --after conflicting medical results and language barriers, we were heading home from Taiwan...again. So began the start of one of the darkest 'brown patches' I have ever been through. I reeled for months after our return. I wrestled with sadness and a suffocating sense of failure. How could God let this happen again?
It has been 8 months since our second Missionary Journey to Taiwan ended. During this time I have experienced the love of my Abba Father in ways I never imagined. He has carried me across the browns and into the vibrant greens--reds & yellows! He has not only forced my roots deeply into His heart, but he has completely healed me!
I am overwhelmed by the grace He lavishes on us as we crawl through these dark places. Peter writes in 1 Peter 1:6-7: "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine." Genuine faith is something I never gave much thought of before. But now I am beginning to see the beauty and blessing it is to have a glimpse of it. One thing I have learned is that faith is not really faith unless it's tested. Maybe truly trusting God cannot happen unless we come to a place of utter desperation.
In His care,